Unless you’re talking to someone at a funeral.
Dimitri Martin
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Blog Archive
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2016
(3897)
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May
(797)
- You would think this goes without saying.
- I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual ...
- I read somewhere that only 2/11 jokes are funny.
- Bar sign - pretty clear
- Why do dentists only want to be awarded with paper...
- An emo and a leaf fall from a tree at the same tim...
- I like my coffee like I like my coffee.
- Fucked a girl with one leg once...
- Meanwhile in Germany…
- Not to brag, but I just got a job as a fitness mod...
- Today my girlfriend offered to finger me
- Schrodinger's Cat recently went on a crime spree
- So the boy said "Grandpa"
- We’ve been warned
- I was having sex with my girlfriend when I felt a ...
- I saw a sign that said "watch for children"
- 9/10 Redditors are idiots
- I used to own a racing snail...
- If a Norwegian robot...
- Carol, a blonde city girl, marries a Cornish dairy...
- Always love a woman for her personality...
- Jake is driving in the desert...
- A redneck broke up with his girlfriend
- My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selli...
- A black man and his son are on an airplane going a...
- I broke up with my girlfriend because I like my wo...
- Jewish Bra
- Ms. Pac Man is the biggest hoe in history
- Fast Wheelchair (x-posted from r/funny)
- A man in his backyard...
- Funny Political Signs XD
- I added some new anti-theft signs to a mall parkin...
- Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie?
- Ready for Die……….
- Finally figured out who I’m voting for this election
- The Funniest Post No Bills Sign EVER!...
- Hidden…
- I want to make a school shooting joke, but that mi...
- Not all math puns are bad
- I just found the worst page in the entire dictiona...
- A man comes home to his wife from his job at a rel...
- My grandfather once told me, "Your generation is t...
- Capitalization...
- Penguins and the cop
- I have a gun by my bed.
- How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
- When does CPR become necrophilia?
- Why should you never play poker with a crocodile?
- An 85-year old man is having his annual checkup
- Two Jewish men..
- A police officer jumps into his squad car and call...
- I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxid...
- Two firefighters are fucking
- In 1839 an Arab man made the first condom
- I just found out I'm colour blind
- Why did the console peasant cross the road?
- Cockpit duties...
- As a Marxist I could never play CoD,
- I put my root beer in a square glass.
- *rubs a lamp*
- Honey, there are broken condoms on the couch
- Little Johnny lives with his mother on a farm...
- What do you call it when a white person robs you?
- Did you know that you can fit any boat on your hea...
- So a Black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful p...
- My wife left me for an Indian guy
- My 5 year olds painful twist on a knock knock joke.
- This is how you promote your website
- A man walks into a bar...
- Pinocchio [NSFW]
- Seeing eye dogs.
- I left my adderall in my Ford Fiesta.
- I love the smell of my F5 key...
- I asked my german friends if they had Oculus Rifts...
- What's the point of Jewish football?
- Never do a parachute jump with your girlfriend...
- Why does Wally (Waldo) always wear stripes?
- A joke told by an old man.
- Puppy Love (NSFW)
- My penis used to be in the Guinness Book of World ...
- Why is whacking a Donald Trump piñata a really *ba...
- Welcome to lake um, uh, um…
- Someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah…
- Every single morning I get hit by the same bike
- My pepperoni pizza is freaking me out!
- Sure, white people can't say the 'n word'
- Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and h...
- I've been so stressed recently I've been doing tha...
- What do you call a belt made of dollar bills?
- Drive past this all the time. Usually has somethin...
- An engineer quit his job and decided to open a cli...
- A man is driving a car through the woods...
- What's more Irish than eating potatoes?
- Okay, I thought this up on the way to work this mo...
- A married man goes into a confessional...
- I was disappointed to have to pay for my new roof
- Mom, why am I getting Christmas gifts in July?
- I store drugs right under my nose
- I Farted...
- What does DNA stand for
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May
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